The Second Pain
by PinkAmy
Summary: Everybody has secrets. Who doesn't? And they say what you don't know won't hurt you. But they never said what would happen if you did know. Can a secret like this bring a gang closer, or tear them apart.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N-** I'm sorry it's short guys. It'll get longer though. Hope you like the story.

Also everything will be in Ponyboy's P.O.V.

**Disclaimer-  
>Ponyboy: <strong>I call dibs.  
><strong>Steve:<strong> Too late, smarty.  
><strong>Two-Bit:<strong> Already doing it-  
><strong>Darry:<strong> Sorry guys, but I think the strongest should do it. *Flexes muscles*  
><strong>Sodapop: <strong>You mean the most good-looking person does it. *Smirks***  
>Dally:<strong> Y'all are stupid. I'm doing it -  
><strong>Johnny:<strong> PinkAmy does not own us, S.E. Hinton does. She only owns the plot.

**Enjoy :)**

The Second Pain

My English teacher lied when he gave me back my essay. Instead of a passing C, he gave ma an A. Boy I was real happy. And it's been so long since the incident with Johnny and Dallas. It feels so good to actually be happy. To have a good thing happen, even though it's so small. But it didn't matter, because I loved it.

Johnny and Dallas were a different story doesn't hurt as much as it did back then, but there still is pain. Everyday, I wake up with a pain in my heart, knowing I wouldn't be able to talk to Johnny, or have Dally tell me not to be a smart mouth. Sometimes, it's too hard to talk, or even think about them. I know the pain won't ever go away, but I know it'll fade. Hopefully.

Anyways, the essay made Sodapop and Darry proud. Luckily they didn't read either. But Darry took all of us out for ice cream to celebrate.

"So Pony, what did you end up writing the essay about?" Sodapop asked.

"Umm... life." said, but more in a question form.

"No really. I would like to know." Darry said.

"Really, about life." I said, putting more confidence in it. It wasn't really a lie. And we left it at that.

Darry and I don't really fight much anymore ever since we made that promise with Soda. It's not that we don't fight at all, because we are too different not to fight, but we haven't had a big one in months, which is good. Only little misunderstandings.

We made small talk, like always. Soda was with Steve, and Two-bit and Darry were talking. I would talk now and then, but not really. Nobody wants to talk to a little kid. But we would all come into a big conversation once in a while.

Sometimes, I would cherish these moments, even though I wasn't really in them. Sometimes, I don't like hanging out with the gang, because there's a big age gap, but moments like these keep me hanging out with them. I wish they could last forever, but no life is perfect. But a person can dream right? And me, I can dream forever, day and night.

"You ready to bust this place?" Soda said, waking me from my thoughts. I nodded. We dropped off Steve and Two-bit, then went home.

When we got there Soda offered to make dinner. I'm not a fan of Sodapop's dinner. They're always perfect, except for the color of course. I mean, would you want to eat blue pancakes? The only real thing I liked about Soda's dinner was it was never really boring. I always play a guessing game of what color the food's going to be.

Soda ended up making blue spaghetti with green meatballs. Sometimes, I wonder how and why he does it. But then again, it's Sodapop. With an extraordinary meal like this one, usually we'll be talking endless, but it was quiet. Too quiet. I decided I should break it.

"So, any plans tomorrow?" I asked to no one in particular.

"Going to work, same as usual." Darry said, sounding a little tired and disgusted with his answer. But I wouldn't blame him. He works to hard when he should be having fun.

"Aww c'mon, maybe tomorrow will be better than today. Cheer up Darry." Soda said, but it looked like cheering up won't work this time. Darry Just had an annoyed look on his face, which made me feel bad. I think Sodapop caught both of this. Everybody just stopped talking after that. We all just ate and went to bed in silence.

I slid underneath my covers, and Soda threw his arm around me. It always felt like nothing bad can happen when Soda's arm was around me. Like it would shield me away from all the harm in the world.

"You ok Pony?" Soda asked, startling me out of my thoughts

"Yup." I said with fake cheerfulness.

"Pony, Darry's just exhausted. He didn't really mean nothing. You know that, right?"

"Yeah. I just wish he wasn't really annoyed, you know?"

"I know. He was probably too tired to think. He really doesn't mean nothing." Soda said, trying to make me feel better.

"Sure Soda," I said, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. "Lets go to sleep. I guess we could talk more in the morning." Soda answered me with his light breathing. I turned to face him. I seriously could never understand how he stands being so handsome. Beats me.

I just kept thinking. I didn't mean to make Darry annoyed. But then again, I don't really mean anything, yet everything messes up. I always wonder if Darry and I will ever get along. Be the close brothers we use to be. We just couldn't dig each other. It seemed so impossible. Maybe because it was.

**A/N- **Please review and tell me how it is. I always greatly appreciate them.  
>Whale, until next update,<br>Stay Gold XD.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- **Hey guys, sorry for updating so late. But at least I updated, right? Anyways thanks to FrankElza, thecoldrose7, and the guest bnlove. Hope you guys enjoy the story

**Disclaimer-  
>Johnny: <strong>Hey guys, who's doing the disclaimer. **  
>Two-bit: <strong>Well, if you must know, I think it's tallest to shortest.**  
>Darry: <strong>Ok, first of all, I'm the tallest, so I get to do it. And second of all, it's shortest to tallest Two-bit.  
><strong>Sodapop: <strong>Well, I'm the cutest.**  
>Steve:<strong> I'm the coolest  
><strong>Dally:<strong> Well I'm a fricking badass, so suck that.  
><strong>Ponyboy: <strong>Ha, I get to do the disclaimer for this story. And I'm the smartest. PinkAmy doesn't own any of us, or my house, or my books, or my close, or my school, or my-  
><strong>Gang: <strong>PONYBOY!  
><strong>Ponyboy:<strong> Oh yeah, S.E. Hinton owns us. PinkAmy only owns the plot.

**Enjoy :)**

When I woke up, I was expecting to feel Soda's arm on me and see him, but I was greeted by emptiness. And I knew why. Soda was going to cook breakfast, leaving me and Darry doing the dishes. Soda always knew my bonding with Darry wasn't close, but I'm pretty sure the whole gang knew it too. It wasn't a big surprise. We were always fighting. And it was over any little thing.

I decided to get up and get dressed. Time to face the day. Once I was done I went into the kitchen to smell eggs and bacon. It smelled so good, but hopefully it wasn't colorful. Apparently, my hope wasn't enough. There on the table were green eggs, red bacon, purple ham, and chocolate cake.

"Ready to eat Pony?" Soda asked, putting his movie star grin on his face. All I did was nod and started eating. Our breakfast was just like dinner. Silent. I didn't really want to start up another conversation, and I'm pretty sure my brothers didn't want to either.

We all finished and put our dishes in the sink. As Darry and I were washing the dishes, Sodapop gave me a stare, as in saying _make some_ _talk._

"Sorry 'bout yesterday Darry." I said quietly. I was actually surprised he heard me.

"No, it was my fault. I was just tired." Darry replied. After that we were just silent. We both were working fast because we didn't want to talk. We were done before I even knew it.

"Bye Pony, make sure to clean the house and have dinner before ready before we get home. And if you go out, don't go too far." Darry said on his way out. Then Soda came up to me.

"Don't worry, you guys are getting there." Soda said, patting my back. After that he was out the door. The engine to the car didn't roar crazy like it usually does, so I knew Darry was driving. When Sodapop drives, it's crazy. I'm surprised Darry still lets him with the five tickets he has for speeding. But then again, Sodapop is his favorite. Probably.

Today I knew I was gonna be lonely. Two-bit was probably at a bar and Steve was at work with Soda. And Johnny and Dally weren't here anymore. Sometimes, I wish we had more friends. So I won't always be lonely. So I don't have to be a tag-along-kid to Steve. So Two-Bit or Sodapop wouldn't have to babysit me. So Darry wouldn't have to watch and worry about me. So there wouldn't be a big age gap in the gang. But our gang was perfect. Or at least perfect before we lost two of them.

Instead of thinking anymore of the topic, I got up and took a shower. The warm water relaxing my muscles felt so good. Ok, maybe not muscles, but skin. I did have muscles though, but I was pretty strong for a kid my age. I was just always outnumbered by Socs to actually win any fights against them.

After I got out and dressed, I turned on the TV to Mickey Mouse since Two-Bit wasn't here to do it. I wasn't that big of a fan of Mickey, but it just felt right. I always hated being home alone because nothing felt right. Nothing ever felt right to me anymore. Everything was out of place. I could be out with Johnny and Dally right now. We could be at the nightly double. But no, I'm at home trying to make everything feel right. And some days, it wasn't worth it.**  
><strong>

I didn't really watch the TV, so I started cleaning. Or pretty much picking up and zoning out into thought. I didn't even really see what I was picking up or where I was putting things. I could have been putting a dead body under the carpet, and not even notice the huge lump there. That's really how zoned out I get.

All I thought about was why me and Darry couldn't connect. Soda and I understood each other. I understood Soda like the back of my hand, while Soda knew me and Darry like that. But Darry and I just didn't dig each other. It was like I was speaking Spanish and Darry was speaking Chinese and Soda was the translator. Why couldn't I just understand him? Why was it so hard. Did he just not like me? Was I a burden for him? Was I a brother he didn't want? Or was it just impossibly for us to connect. Sure the possibilities were endless, but I'm pretty sure it's just impossible to connect with him, is there really a better reason?

I stopped thinking and went back to my cleaning. I didn't want Darry to hate me anymore than he probably already does.

I heard something move and immediately turned around to see who came in. I really wasn't expecting someone. Instead of going towards the person,I went back to my cleaning till something caught my attention. I turned completely around to the door to see if my eyes and ears were playing with me. It was weird that I just noticed right now. How long have they been there. Or maybe they just got there now. Who knows? I felt real stupid, not noticing it till now. Maybe it was suppose to be a kind of surprise. Cause if it was, it was a hell of a surprise, a good one. And I did the dumbest thing, froze. I didn't know what to do.

**A/N**- Whose the person? Whale, hope you enjoyed it. Sorry it's a little short. They will get longer.

Please review, it helps me update faster and they make my day. And thanks to the people reviewing.

Whale, until next update,  
>Stay Gold XD.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N-**Sorry I took SO LONG updating. I'm just going through a lot of stuff in my life right now. But hey, it's here. thank you to thecoldrose7, FrankElza, bnlove, and Sadicofan for reviewing.

**Disclaimer-****  
><strong>Steve:<strong> **Ugh, it's that time of the story again.  
><strong>Johnny: <strong>What? Oh, you mean the-  
><strong>Two-Bit: <strong>Are you talking about periods Steve? I'm pretty sure Mother Nature doesn't give them to fan fictions...  
><strong>Dally: <strong>No stupid, he means the disclaimer.  
><strong>Darry: <strong>This is why I say someone smart should do it  
><strong>Ponyboy: <strong>Yeah, and by smart he means me.  
><strong>Sodapop:<strong> Sorry boys, but it's me. PinkAmy does not own the story, or my great looks, S.E. Hinton does. She only owns the plot.

**Enjoy :)**

That surprise was named Cherry Valence. Boy she was a good surprise too. I didn't know what to do so I froze. We kinda just stared at each other. I felt my hands getting sweaty and clammy and decided to speak up.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, I probably looked like a nervous wreck. Why would a nice, pretty Soc be at a poor, dirty greaser's house?

"Thought I would come and visit you Pony." said in a nice soft voice. Her lips were rosy and natural.

"Sorry I have to clean the house, maybe you just should go."

"That's fine Pony, I'll just wait." she said and plopped herself on the couch.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

I rushed to clean everything. I didn't want to make her wait. I felt rude that she had to wait. Like I would feel rude to make anybody wait. Especially a Socy girl. I didn't even watch what I was cleaning or where I put things. All that was on my mind was her. I guess I'll clean better when she leaves.

Once I was finished I plopped on to the couch next to her. My hands were drenched with sweat. Why do I have to be so nervous around girls? But then again, this isn't just any girl. She was Cherry Valence.

For some odd reason she was staring around the house unsure of something and then stared at my eyes. Maybe she saw me stuff things in places. Hopefully she didn't, cause then she would think I'm such a slob. Maybe I should get up and re-clean everything.

Her green eyes looked unsure and lost, but in a way, confident. And her lips, they looked real nice and soft. I stopped looking at them because I didn't want her thinking I was weird.

Right when I wanted to speak she kissed me. It was amazing. It felt real nice, and better than I thought a kiss would ever be. She stared at me again and her eyes became cleared.

"Wha-" I started, only to be cut off from her.

"Look Pony, I really like you. I know I said I liked Dallas, but I had to hide my feelings. But I don't think I can hide them anymore. Ponyboy Curtis, I'm in love with you."

I was at a loss for words. What should I say?

"I-I have mutual feelings too Cherry." I said shyly. We kinda just stared at each other after that.

"Well, Ponyboy I have to go." She said.

"How about we go to the hill near the lot and watch the sunset?" I blurted out, regretting it.

"Yeah, I would love to. 5:30 okay with you?"

"Yeah, sounds great."

"Ok, well... bye."

"Bye, see you tomorrow." I said, than planted a kiss on her. She smiled a warm smile and left.

I had this warm feeling in my stomach. I had picked up a girl. Also it was not just any girl from the street, but a beautiful Soc.

_"Boy, am I one lucky guy"_ I thought. Then I thought who I should tell. Soda? Darry? WAIT, how would I tell them? Maybe I shouldn't. But maybe it isn't a bad idea? How can I go without telling Soda my first date? But then maybe the whole gang would know and be mad or feel betrayal. I started to get a headache. I decided I wasn't going to tell anyone. Nobody will be mad or hurt or feel stabbed in the back. But will hiding things be a good idea or make things worse? And to be honest I didn't want to find out the hard way, but that seemed like the answer. Hiding.

**A/N-** Sorry the chapter was short. Oh, and in this fan fiction, Cherry is the same age as Pony.  
>I promise to update sooner. Reviews help too.<br>Whale, until next chapter,  
>STAY GOLD XD.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- **Hey guys. Thought I should update again today since I haven't updated in a while. I was going to do it next week, but decided not to. Thanks to thecoldrose7, and FrankElza for reviewing.  
>Also, to the guest who said this was a stolen plot, I have no idea what you mean. So maybe you can PM me and we can talk about it?<p>

**Disclaimer  
>Gang: <strong>DISCLAIMER TIME!**  
>Two-Bit: <strong>It's my turn.**  
>Sodapop: <strong>And by my you mean me.**  
>Dally: <strong>To bad, but I'm doing it.**  
>Ponyboy: <strong>To late, P-,**  
>Johnny: <strong>Can't we just say it together?**  
>Gang: <strong>NO!**  
>Darry: <strong>Guess it's me.**  
>Steve: <strong>Ha, to slow. PinkAmy doesn't own us, or my mechanic skills, S.E. Hinton does. She only owns the plot.

**Enjoy :) **

I started cooking dinner, knowing I had to b on my best behavior to ask Darry if I could go out. I made chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and bread rolls, seeing that the gang was gonna come and they eat like pigs. I wonder if this is even gonna fill them up. Oh wells.

I heard Two-Bit walk in, plop himself next to the T.V., and put Mickey Mouse on. I wasn't sure if I should acknowledge him or not, but in the end, I did.

"Hey Two-Bit."

"Hey horse man." He said. I wasn't sure if he was joking or he was drunk, it was always hard to tell.

Darry, Sodapop, and Steve walked through the door right when I finished dinner. I even made chocolate cake to close the deal on going.

"Hey guys." I said

"Hey." They said as they went into the kitchen.

"Pony, it smells good in here." Darry said.

"Thanks. Uh, Darry can I ask you something?" I asked nervously.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"So my… friend invited me to the nightly double, can I go?"

"Do I know this friend?" he asked.

"Yeah. I just felt like I should make closer friends, you know?" I said, hoping I convinced him. I didn't lie though, Cherry would be a close friend, maybe more than a close friend.

"Ok, but make sure to be safe Ponyboy..." I wanted to explode and hug him, but I kept my cool.

We all then sat down and ate. Everybody talked about their day and random stuff, but I pretty much zoned out. I didn't even really eat, I was just too excited, thinking about tomorrow. It's been so long since the incident, that I actually was really happy. And I had this new feeling in my stomach. Well, now I know I'm in love.

I looked up, and thankfully no one noticed I was spaced out for so long. It was really hard to contain my happiness. I had to literally bite my lip so I wouldn't smile. It was too hard though. I, Ponyboy Curtis, had an actual girl. And not any girl form the streets, I got a beautiful Soc. girl.

"PONYBOY!" I heard Darry say.

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong little buddy?" he asked looking worried.

"Nothing, I… was just thinking about stuff." I said trying to calm him down. I could feel my smile on my face, but biting my lip didn't work for some reason right then. Soda took a hard look at me. He then a real big smile. He knew me better than anyone, and I could tell he already knew my secret just from looking at me.

"Oh, Pony…" Soda said. I got real nervous.

"Soda, PLEASE DON'T-" I screamed, but he cut me off.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LIKE SOMEONE!?" Soda yelled. The whole gang stopped and were staring at me. I could feel my face turn red and heat up. All the words felt stuck in my throat, like I couldn't even explain myself. Before I could spit out any words out they all started chanting "Pony likes a girl." and "Who's the lucky lady?" and things along those lines. Everybody was teasing me at the moment.

I felt my anger boiling. I pushed the chair under the table and ran out the door. I couldn't stand it anymore. I sprinted and sprinted letting my legs take over. I couldn't believe Soda blurted that how the gang acted, it just made me so mad. I stop to realize where my legs have taken me.

I was standing right in front of my gallant best friend and my violent one. I dropped to my knees and started crying. Why did they have to die? Why couldn't it be me? Because right now, I hat living without them. I went towards Johnny grave. I sat down next to him.

"What do I do Johnny? I can't take it anymore. I miss you so much. I don't feel comfortable around the gang without you. Please, tell me what to do." Then that voice kept replaying in my head.

"Stay Gold." I heard him saying. It replayed over and over. I just stared at the grave and smiled.

"Thanks Johnny. We really miss you guys. Hope to see you soon. But not too soon, ya know?" I said as hot tears fell down my eyes.

I started to walk back home thinking how much trouble I was going to be in now. Then I felt someone sneak behind me. I got a little scared, thinking it was a Soc. That's when I turned around she kissed me. It was definitely a Soc., but I liked that she snuck up on me.

"Hey Pony, what are you doing out here so late?" she asked sounding worried.

"What am I doing out here late? I should be asking you the same question. Especially in the dark."

"Oh I don't know, I was just driving around and then I saw you walking by your lonesome, so I decided to walk with you. Now you can explain." She smiled.

"My friends got me real mad. I guess I just kinda blew up and ran out. I just needed to cool down for a little."

"Oh, you ok now?" She asked worriedly.

"Yeah I guess. Cherry you should head on home, it's getting pretty late, don't you think?"

"Same for you too." She smiled.

"Yeah, I will. I'm just going to walk a little more. I want to be fully calm when I get home."

"I'll help with that." She then leaned in and kissed me. Her soft lips felt real nice on mines. "You ok now?"

"Yeah. Thanks." And after that, we went our separate ways.

As I was heading home, I started preparing a yelling from Darry. I still wasn't in the mood, but I knew I couldn't avoid it forever. Maybe I should just come out and stop hiding this. But hiding always seemed like the answer. What they don't know won't hurt them, right?

I reached the house and saw Darry pacing back and forth through the window. Wonder what he was thinking. I wonder what the gang was thinking. Well, I'll find out when he yells at me.

I put my hand on the knob, twisting it and opening the door. I wasn't really ready for the yelling, and I knew I had to get it over with. But I think I should have waited to go in.

**A/N****- Hey guys. Hope you liked the chapter. Tell me how it was. Reviews always help and motivate me to update faster.  
>Whale, until next chapter,<br>STAY GOLD XD.**


End file.
